緋真姐姐 Neesama English version
by huan05
Summary: "Maybe one day when I've finally casted all the conflicting thoughts away, maybe when that day comes, from the bottom of my heart, I will call you 'Nee-sama'…" Rukia's POV


**Disclaimer: Yes, I don't own Bleach, if I ever own Bleach, the publishers won't want to publish my ugly drawings! XD**

**Me: Yes, a English version, after so much of errors checking and hesitation. **

**This is the English version of my previous Chinese fanfic, about how Rukia felt when she learnt from Byakuya that she actually had a older sister, Hisana, who abandoned her in Rukongai when she was a infant. **

**Not a well-written work, but hope I still did a okay job in depicting Rukia's feelings. There might be lots of grammatical errors but I've tried my best already. Feel free to point out the errors if there's still any. Thanks!**

* * *

><p>A year had passed in the twinkling of an eye. It's your death anniversary today and I'm here to visit you.<p>

I hope you are well and happy in another world…

Remembering the first time when I saw your portrait at the memorial shrine, I was completely stunned. How could it be possible that there's actually a person who resembles so much as me?

But the way you smiled in the portrait, was totally different from me…

That smile of yours, so elegant and serene, yet at the same time, it was so melancholic. I could sense the sadness that was hidden behind your smile.

Perhaps the reason why Nii-sama was so captivated by you, it's because of that beautiful smile.

You must be a very kind and gentle woman…

The truth about our separation, as what I heard from Nii-sama, life was difficult in Rukongai, you couldn't take care of me, so you left me in a secluded alley and ran away.

I became disappointed and even started to hate you after hearing the truth. It's hard for me to believe such kind and gentle woman like you could be such heartless person who abandoned her sister.

You will never know how much I had went through during all these years in Rukongai, enduring the extreme weathers and hunger, believing that a ray of hope will eventually come in future.

You will never understand how lonely I felt during all these years in Rukongai, when I was watching the passerby kids holding their parent's hand, walking by each other's side happily.

Since you had decided to leave me, to either survive or die, alone in that place of uncertainties…

So my hatred for you keeps continuing, until one day Nii-sama told me about his first encounter with you; he found you floating unconscious on the surface of seawater.

You confided in Nii-sama after you regained conscious, and finally I got to know the true reason behind your decision.

You couldn't bring yourself to drag me into your suicide attempt, so right after you left me in that alley, you threw yourself into the seawater as you had lost the will to live.

I could understand how desperate you were at that point of time, but it doesn't mean that I could just forgive and forget the selfish deed that you had done.

However, my hatred for you had started to diminish as time goes by…

You felt guilty for what you had done to me; you took pains to find out my whereabouts in Rukongai everyday without fail. You faced countless times of disappointment and even got your health weakened, yet you did not want to give up any possibility that could lead to our reunion.

Sadly, things did not turn out the way you want. Your illness had totally deprived all the hopes of our reunion, and also Nii-sama's only happiness.

You lived, and died with regrets. Your attempts on compensating the mistake that you had made are already more than enough.

I guess I should stop hating you from now on…

Although I might need some more time to fully accept the fact, but I wanted to tell you that, I've decided not to hate you anymore, and I sincerely wished that you are smiling happily in another world.

Maybe one day when I've finally casted all the conflicting thoughts away, maybe when that day comes, from the bottom of my heart, I will call you "Nee-sama"…

* * *

><p><strong>PS: Since Rukia called Byakuya "Nii-sama", so I guess she might call Hisana "Nee-sama" which means older sister.<strong>


End file.
